At a neighborhood party last night several people remarked that I’d lost weight. This is always a little awkward for me. What should I say? Of course I’ve lost weight, I’ve been having a Crohn’s disease flare that’s been going on for three months. I always feel like responding, “Why, yes, I’m on the Crohn’s Shit Your Brains Out Ten Times a Day Diet.”
The host of the party, who is the biggest blowhard, conversation dominating dork who has to remind you he went to Dartmouth every other sentence accused one of the other neighbors (not present) of not being “smooth.” This is the guy who, at the last party I saw him at, when a couple of us broke out our guitars and my fondness for country music was revealed announced as if it was some impressive display of pop music knowledge that Chet Atkins was a really good country guitar player. No shit Buckwheat.
Hey, Rich, I’ve been studying astrophysics and I’ve come to the conclusion that the sun’s gonna rise in the east tomorrow morning.