My wife is much cooler than I am. Can I say that? Is “cool” a really dated expression? Am I dating myself? Do I care? Anyway, today I was wondering just how cool she is. So I consulted the Oracle of Bacon at Virginia and found that she has a Bacon number of 3. Yes only 3 degrees of separation between her and Kevin Bacon. She once produced a spot with Tim Conway who was in Speed 2: Cruise Contol (1997) with Colleen Camp who was in Trapped (2002) with Kevin Bacon. But I guess as far as Ham goes, I read History_Pig so that just might put me on equal footing on the coolness scale. Of course my ex-girlfriend slept with Taj Mahal (while we were dating) and I once told Ralph Nader that the non smoking section was closed, so I guess I have some claim to fame.
That’s a good story. I was bartending the lunch shift and just after things calmed down a guy comes up to me and says that he has a party coming in and they’d like to sit in the non-smoking section. I told him that I was sorry but we closed it because we didn’t have enough waitresses to cover it after the lunch rush. He insisted that the party would be adamant about sitting in non-smoking. So, smart-ass that I am I said, “Who is it, Ralph Nader?” The guy gave me a wierd look and said, “As a matter of fact, it is.” So we opened the section for him. If I’d have known that 30 years later we could thank him for George W. I wouldn’t have done it. And by the way, the guy really, even back then, looked like a total spook. I mean he was the palest person I’ve ever seen and his eyes were sunken so far back under that brow ridge that they were barely visible. Not to mention the fact that he was one of the few people I ran into in those days who was actually skinnier than me. But then again there is absolutely nothing cool about Ralph Nader so that doesn’t count.

The image is a promo that I did for myself back before I became a coporate lacky and was trying to make a living as a freelancer.

9 thoughts on “

  1. Nothing wrong with being a corporate lacky. Some of us are still trying to break into the lacky business but it seems to be the market’s all dried up. Now I’ll need to invest all my time in becoming a schmuck, or perhaps a tool.

    By the way, the sarcasm meter isn’t registering this one as amusing so I apologize in advance if it doesn’t warrant a chuckle from you or your wife, who in working with Tim Conway has already exceeded me in coolness. And no, cool is still quite prevalant in the vernacular so rest easy. Take care.

  2. Well hey, Nader counts, you know?  My closest experience with a celebrity was getting a shot of the guy who played Skinner on the X-Files as he entered the Frog and Toad show on Broadway with his family, across the street from me.

  3. bill clinton flirted with me (yeah, yeah, he flirted with anything with boobs, i know) and i had dinner with joe walsh from the eagles — he sat between the husband and me at a table. 

  4. Tried to go to your guestbook and it wouldn’t let me go there. UND’s name and logo. When I was a student there I led a group that tried to have it changed. I am a member of Native Americans Against Racism in Sports and the Media.
    I also taught at UND for 3 years and during that time I worked with students to try and change the name. I oldest daughter turned down a full scholarship at UND and went to Iowa State. My youngest is there now. The problem that people don’t see is the racism that goes on at school with such a name. UND has about 300 American Indian student. This year a tepee that the students placed on campus to advertise some AI events was vandelized by students.
    I think at some point the NCAA will decide the use of such names will stop.
    You being from MN did you know the MR Green, the former Viking coach 7 years ago turned down an interview to talk with KC about their coaching job, He sited their name as the reason. This Dec. he turned down an offer from Washington siteing the same reason. Needless to say next season I am supporting Arizona all the way!

  5. Degrees from Kevin Bacon, is that good or bad?????  Probably good since your wife would be acting.

    She has the same degree of seperation as Mr. Bean.  Chuckle Chuckle Chuckle.

  6. I once knew someone who said they had a friend that saw the lead singer of the Cars at an airport.

    Yeah..  I’m not very noteworthy.

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