Category Archives: Sport and Fitness

Close Call

Family, Life, Sport and Fitness

Dodged a bullet. I almost committed an act that would put me in jeopardy of having my man card revoked. Our younger daughter who works at the Guthrie, gets two free tickets to each performance. She called last week and offered us her tickets to Romeo and Juliet. I’ve often said that we don’t take good advantage to the cultural opportunities offered here in the Twin Cities and this sounded like an chance to increase our highbrow credentials. Rebecca was on the phone with her relaying the info while I was in the middle of something important like reading Facebook entries. A range of dates was offered. I replied that Sunday would work.

Now I’m not a huge football fan. I have never once painted my face purple or maroon, or even cornflower and maise (not Michigan, Carleton.) But I have jumped on the Vikings bandwagon this year. It’s so much fun to watch Brett Favre when he’s playing for your team rather than picking it apart. I was also kind of distracted. I know there’s really no excuse for not realizing that the play conflicted with the Vikings playoff game against Dallas. Dallas. Playoff. It’s enough to boil the blood of guy my age. Not to mention the fact that I would definitely bring my guyhood into question if I spent an afternoon listening to iambic pentameter. Besides I already know the ending of the play.

I know this identifies me as obtuse, but the conflict didn’t hit my radar screen until yesterday morning. My stomach did a backflip and I broke into a cold sweat thinking about what I would say to the first guy who said, “Did you see the catch Rice made in the back of the end zone?!?” And, if I were to be honest, I’d have to reply, “No, I missed it, I was watching Shakespeare.” I couldn’t bear the shame. I also fully understand the repercussions of backing out on a date with my wife. Things could get icy at casa Keller if I didn’t approach this with utmost delicacy.

“Hey Beck… Do you think one of your fiends might want to go to the play tomorrow.”

“Why?”

I explained my predicament. She said that she was sure that she could find someone and she’d call around. All of a sudden I felt like I was the one being ditched.

So I’m off the hook. But knowing the Vikings, I’ll still be watching a tragedy.

Dementia Check

Health, Life, Sport and Fitness

Yesterday I went to the club this morning and put in 45 minutes on the treadmill, at a pretty good pace for me. Between 3 and 4 miles per hour most of the way. That’s a huge improvement over where I was two years ago, or even three months ago. But the workout left me questioning my sanity a bit. I was working out to Rock’n’Roll on the iPod and when Los Lobos live version of Marie Marie came on I pumped the speed up to 4 mph, which is a pretty good walking clip. When it was over a slow Bonnie Raitt song came on and I slowed down to it’s tempo. I was getting into Bonnie’s slide work and kind of closed my eyes. When I opened the up again, the treadmill’s control panel was running away from me. I had obviously slowed down too much and didn’t realize it. I was about to go off the back end, not able to reach the shutoff and too little time to catch up, and a concrete wall right behind me. I surprised myself by thinking fast enough to kick my legs out from under me, get my feet on the floor behind me and stop my fall with hands on either side of the moving pathway, on the edges of the treadmill. Thank God I’ve been working out, I never thought I’d attain that level of agility again after the year of the knee.

So I get plus marks for the physical realm for the 45 minutes of walking that endless highway and having the agility to to fall down without injury. I’ll even give myself a point in the mental column for realizing, in that split second before I went flying into the concrete block wall behind me, what I had to do in order to make a safe landing. But I’m a little concerned with the mental process that put me in that situation in the first place.

Puce Bras and Smelly Gophers.

Health, Life, Sport and Fitness

Yesterday R posted “puce” on facebook. I started noticing other posts simply naming a color. I didn’t make the connection until a couple of hours later but coolass tipped me off to this. R came downstairs rolling her eyes and admitting, “I am such a dork.” She thought that people were just randomly posting colors, so she jumped on the bandwagon. I was wondering, because I didn’t think she owned a puce bra. I’m glad I didn’t jump on the bandwagon.

Thursday night my friend Brad and I braved the elements to watch the Gophers WBB take on Northwestern. It was a great game, the Gophs came back from 16 down with a dominating second half performance. At one point Goldy, the mascot sat down in the seat in front of me. I can tell you that Goldy kind of stinks.

Rush Resolutions Randomness

Life, Sport and Fitness

Since Rush Limbaugh is “resting comfortably” after being rushed to the hospital suffering from chest pains late yesterday, is it OK to make fun of him now? I was tipped off by Rachel Maddow, who tweeted her wishes for a speedy recovery. And then came the inevitable rush of tasteless remarks from those who wish him ill. And then came responses from conservatives who pinned the sentiments of those idiots on all liberals. The circle is unbroken.

But I must say that I had to chuckle over some of the tweets. Like someone suggesting that if surgery were necessary they wouldn’t be able to find a heart, and another who was celebrating the fact that their Rush voodoo doll was working.

And now for the obligatory New Years Resolutions. In the new year I resolve to:

  1. Keep this blog going by posting at least four times a week.
  2. Cut down on the use of the word “I” in this blog by 75%.
  3. Continue to work out regularly and get rid of the sagging pecs.
  4. Get my graphics business going to the point where it makes up the gap between my retirement income and what I used to make.
  5. Expand my cooking repertoire.
  6. Expand my guitar repertoire.
  7. Learn how to spell repertoire.
  8. Do more fun stuff with my wife.
  9. Get out in the woods more.
  10. Get out of the USA at least once.

Caveat: I break resolutions like I break wind, with frequency and fervor, so I refuse to be held to any of these foolish promises.

Finally, on a sports note, the Minnesota Gophers and Iowa State Cyclones are playing in the Insight Bowl today. This is a rivalry that goes back to when the Clone’s Jack Trice, one of college football’s first African American players and the who ISU’s beautiful stadium is named for, died from injuries suffered in a game against the Gophers. Today’s game is a meaningless matchup between two mediocre teams, but I have a minor interest because one daughter is an ISU grad and one is a U of M grad. I owe a small fortune to both. I haven’t been to a Gopher game since OJ Simpson played at Memorial Stadium, but I’ve been to a couple of games at Jack Trice, one where Oklahoma scored something like 70 and I very much admired how the fans seemed to be having a great time even though they were being mauled on the field. And besides, you’ve got to love a team named the Cyclones that have a Cardinal for a mascot. So today I’m going to be a Cyclone fan.

Have a fun and safe New Years Eve everyone!

Call Me Mr. Fitness

Life, Sport and Fitness

It seems October and November decided to switch places in the seasonal order this year. Did the sun ever come out in October? It seemed like it was consistently dreary and rainy for the whole month. It even snowed a bit. And now on November 17th, I’m looking out my window at an azure sky and the cemetery bathed in beautiful thin late afternoon light. I guess as Minnesotans we take what we can get.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m trying to justify my post Dex existence in every possible way. One way is to be a fitness mentor to my spouse. Not that I can give her any tips on staying fit, having me for a personal trainer would be like having Foster Brooks for an AA sponsor. Continue reading Call Me Mr. Fitness →

More Ketchup

Life, Sport and Fitness

Sorry, sometimes I just can’t resist a pun.

My last post probably sounded like I was teetering on the edge of despair. But I can assure you that my feeling of well-being is not connected to my success or failure as a barista. There are medications for that. I’m actually feeling pretty well for a guy in the middle of dental work. Speaking of medications, my dentist is either a Bhuddist or is on tranques. No one could be that consistently calm and soothing. I’m sure it’s his work schtick, it is the perfect demeanor for a dentist. I wonder if they have classes for that in dental school. I can see them sitting around in a room concentrating on lowering their blood pressure 20 points, just by meditation. My blood pressure is like a teenager’s, in spite of a family history to the contrary. I hope the same holds true for melanoma, which my brother and sister both have had. I mentioned this fact to a doctor friend and she was pretty adamant that I needed to get checked and maybe even find out if I have the genetic marker.

OK enough about that stuff. Is that what you call “over-sharing?” I’ve been trying to justify my existence in this post-Dex life. It wouldn’t take long for Beck to serve the divorce papers if I were sitting around all day eating Cheetos and watching daytime TV. Continue reading More Ketchup →

Low Impact

Life, Rants, Sport and Fitness, Uncategorized

lowimpactSaturday night we attended a cultural milestone event. The wedding of the youngest and last unmarried daughter of close friends. The cultural significance of this event is that the fun level of weddings is going to drop significantly now. These folks really know how to throw a party. Unlike the Kellers who have been advising their daughters to elope since they were marching their Barbies down  the aisle. There’s no money here for big weddings! But I’m sure our friends will continue to find excuses to party.
During the dinner, we sat at a table of friends and neighbors, the two other men at my table are that kind irritating fitness enthusiast (I diplomatically avoid the term “nut”) that likes to talk about there last marathon or that nice easy three hour ride they went on last week in the rain. The conversation got around to biking and I was encouraged to get out and start riding. It’s the best exercise with the least impact on the rest of your body! It would be great for your knees! There’s those great trails just over on the other side of this golf course that it seems to take me a half hour to drive to.
Don’t get me wrong. I could use a good workout routine. I’m in terrible shape.

Continue reading Low Impact →

RIP Captain Lou

Life, Music, Sport and Fitness, Weirdness, ,

OK, I didn’t even know who Captain Lou Arbano was until today, but this has always been one of my favorite NRBQ songs. It all comes together now.

Today I feel like the victim of a Captain Lou pile driver. I’ve pretty much slept all day, my body is possessed by some foul demon.

Here comes the sun!

Life, Sport and Fitness, , ,

octobersky

Finally, sunshine. I was beginning to think that I had somehow tripped up the weather patterns with my retirement new career adventure and put us into a permanent chilly monsoon. This turn of meteorological events gave me the impetus to start working on one of my primary Post-Dex goals, getting in shape.

One of these days I’ll post the whole sad story in detail, but the short background story is that, in 2007 I had my right knee, ravaged by a too long pick-up basketball career, replaced. A strep infection lead to a nightmarish sequence of complications that included 6 weeks with no knee at all, a broken hip and a total of five surgeries. Basically I was off my feet for most of six months. Not conducive to physical fitness. Continue reading Here comes the sun! →

They must have been Yankee fans

Books, Sport and Fitness, Weirdness

TED WILLIAMSWorkers at an Arizona cryonics facility mutilated the frozen head of baseball legend Ted Williams – even using it for a bizarre batting practice, a new tell-all book claims.

via New York Daily News.

I…. uh….. wtf!!! Too sick for even me to make fun of.