Category Archives: Life

You know, life.

Neurodiverse

I guess that’s what the kids are calling it these days. I have ADHD, which when I was a kid in the fifties and sixties I was just called a problem child. My weirdness must have made it hard on my parents. I’m not saying neurodiverse folks are all weird, but I definitely was. I did well in school, mostly because I was good at test taking and could read and write pretty well. They got a lot of positive feedback from my teachers, but that was always followed with “but….”. I was the class clown and could be very disruptive. I’ll go into this more in another post.

This morning I was getting ready to do some spiritual reading and meditate. I realized I wanted to have my water bottle with me so I went up to the main level and got it out of the fridge and headed to the lower level to get ready. On the way down I thought about the paintings I have in progress and went down the basement to look at them and think about what to do next. I spent maybe 10 minutes doing this and then came back upstairs to meditate. That’s when I saw my guitar so I sat down to run through some mixolydian scale drills. I caught myself pretty quickly and headed back to the chair where I had everything ready. Everything but my water, which I had gone to get fifteen minutes earlier. I couldn’t find it. I looked everywhere on the two middle levels, even went upstairs even though I knew I hadn’t been up there since I got my water out of the fridge. I looked everywhere three of four times, muttering things like “What the fuck is wrong with me?” Finally Becky reminded me that I’d gone down to the basement, which is of course where I found it. Just an example of the shit that goes on in my brain every day.

Question: How many ADD folks does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: Let’s ride bikes!

So the weather is again beautiful. I like to say that Minnesota weather is like the little girl with the curl on her forehead. When it’s good it’s really good, but when it’s bad it’s horrid. Fall weather in Minnesota is the best weather. I guess nothing good lasts.

Yesterday I went down to the Northrup King Building to pick up some paintings from Follow the Muse and talk to Daphnae about upcoming shows.

Today I plan to send Daphnae examples of some paintings for the upcoming designer showcase and to complete my entry for the Extremely Minnesota show at the Robbin Gallery. I might also get to renewing my membership in MAA and the Hopkins Center. I also will do my shoulder exercises, which I skipped yesterday because I had some pain going on and figured it needed a rest.

That’s all I have.

Best Laid Plans

No dirty rice last night. One of B’s pickleball friends dropped off some spaghetti so we had that instead. Tonight.

Walked about 3 miles around the neighborhood today, the weather was beautiful and looks like it’s going to be great today as well. Did my shoulder exercises with a little bit of pain. Two days ago I was almost pain free but the last couple of days there’s soreness around the limits of my ROM. Couldn’t sleep at 1:30, got up, read and had some tea. Went back to sleep and didn’t wake up until 7:30, which is great since I’ve woken up around 4:30 the last few days.

Still trying to decide which pieces to enter into the Extremely Minnesota show. Most of the ones I’ve done recently have already been shown at the Robbin. I have a few though, I have some time.

We’ve watched two excellent series in a row. Black Rabbit is really good, Jason Bateman and Jude Law are terrific as dysfunctional brothers running a New York Restaurant. Then last night we watched Hostage a tense British political espionage drama. We watched all five episodes in one sitting.

Not a lot accomplished yesterday, I did fix the dark screen problem with the TV. And started journaling again. That’s an accomplishment. And I made a list of appointments I need to make.

Today I’m going to figure out my XtMN entries and I have to go over to Follow the Muse to pick up some paintings that were in a show in Austin. Hoping Becky and I can go to brunch and make a day of it.

Here’s a list of the appointments I need to make.

  • Colonoscopy
  • Eye Doctor
  • Diabetes check
  • Dentist

Peace.

Back to Journaling

It’s Friday, September 26th. I’m going to try to start using this blog again, as more of a personal journal than an attempt at public entertainment. I considered other platforms for keeping a new journal but decided that since I’ve put so much work into this over such a long time, I would keep it right here. I will password protect some of these posts that are for my eyes only.

Right now Becky is recovering from foot surgery for a broken metatarsal and also a bad cold. She seems to be getting over the hump. I’m still working on rehabbing my shoulder since I fell and tore three rotator cuff tendons back around Christmas.

Yesterday was pretty unproductive. I didn’t sleep well the night before and was kind of dazed all day. I was able to get a two mile walk in and do my shoulder exercises. Becky pulled it together enough to go out with her “whine club” which was really good for her since she’s been so cooped up for weeks. I stayed home and watched a chilling combat movie, Warfare, which documents the fate of a Navy Seal platoon in Fallujah during the Iraq war. Every time I see one of these gritty war movies I think about how I would react in that kind of situation. I don’t think I’d do well.

My goals for the day are to meditate, work on some art and art promotion tasks and cook my version of dirty rice for dinner.

One day at a time.

Walking

My daughter is getting married this coming Sunday. They are staying with us up until Saturday. I will be writing more about that later, but in the midst of all the social tidal wave crashing down I have been cut adrift. The happy couple are at the groom’s parents for dinner and the mother of the bride is out with some friends. So I decided since it was a beautiful evening I’d take a walk around the neighborhood. My usual route takes me along Bassett Creek in Northwood Park.

The East Bridge

The trail crosses the creek in two places on beautifully patinaed iron red bridges. The park is the flood plane of the creek and is the lowest area around, it’s very broad and open so you get a great view of the sky all around. As I was crossing the East bridge, I saw a little blue heron perching on a dead branch in the river, poised to make a meal of who ever came down stream. I was above it on the bridge so it didn’t notice me. I waited lone enough to see him nail a fish without leaving the branch, just a lightning stroke of the beak.

I headed home in the twilight. Felling blessed.

Let’s Talk About Me

Before I go much further into my thoughts about art I’ll tell you a little about what I’m doing with my art practice these days and where I come from as an artist. Yesterday someone asked me what my art background was. I’m afraid I rattled on for way too long telling my circuitous career story. I won’t bore you with that now, although I might bore you with it in a later post. I’ll just say I was that kid who drew all the time, my parents encouraged it and kept me in art supplies because it kept me still and quiet. They didn’t call it ADHD then. I majored in art in college and went on to work in just about every art related job from animation to zookeeper (I managed a group of designers). I retired from that management job in 2009 and have done some freelance design work since then. In 20017 I decided to start painting again, something I hadn’t done since the 80s. I cleared out a corner of my basement and set up a tiny studio and started slinging paint.

Right my work has a split personality. One side of that split is my representational work. I’ve been doing landscapes, portraits and still lifes in what I think of as an impressionist style. I use acrylic paint, and lately I’ve been using Golden Open acrylics for this style. I like them because they dry more slowly than standard acrylic paint so they can be pushed around and blended for a longer period of time, which really helps creating soft edges and smooth transitions.

This is one of my most recent landscape paintings

I don’t consider these to be the primary focus of my work. I enjoy doing them, I like the challenge of representational art and I also believe that the discipline involved really helps develop my ability to see.

The other half of this split personality is my abstract work. I’ve been interested in abstract art since I was in college. Much of the work that I did in college and in the early 70s was abstract. Then as now, the process is improvisational, I start making marks, look at what I have and respond to it with more marks. My current process involves putting down a thick impasto layer using Golden Heavy Gel Medium mixed with color and sometimes a little pumice to create texture. I often press objects into the wet gel to create different textural effects. Then I start working in layers, sometimes using opaque paint and sometimes glazing. Lately I’ve been sanding the surface to bring up colors from previous layers. I repeat the process until I’m happy with what I see. Sometimes I repeat the process until I’ve ruined the painting. There’s always a risk involved, I think a big part of creativity is not being afraid to try something, even though you know there’s a possibility that it’s going to be one step too far and you’re never going to be able to make it as good as it was before you took the leap.

One of my abstract pieces

That’s a little bit about what I’m doing right now, in the future I’ll be talking about individual pieces, problems and solutions, and what’s at the front of my mind in terms of my practice. More to come.

Freedom

One of my favorite illustrations that I did for Computer User. Notice the hardware… it was a long time ago.

Over the years I’ve had the good fortune to get paid for making art. Most of the time, I’ve been constrained by the needs of clients. I once had a gig doing highly rendered illustrations of grocery products for newspaper publication. I did them with stippling technique, building the values with tiny dots. I was pretty good at it but it was intensely boring and unsatisfying from a creative standpoint. Most of my work was editorial, illustrating articles for publication, which is a lot more creative, but the work is still directed by the content of the article.

I’m semi-retired now and have the freedom to create whatever want. WTF! What do I want to create?  Right now I’m getting in the groove doing small impressionist still lifes and landscapes. I’m enjoying the work and I’ve gotten good feedback, but I’m not so sure that’s the direction I want to go.

As I mentioned in my last post, I’ve gone pretty far down the abstract rabbit hole. I still want to explore that direction, with both digital and natural media.

But for now I’m enjoying the challenge of working with paint to make it do what I want and using color and value to express light. The discipline involved in this study brings a heightened awareness of the visual world. I notice color and form more intensely and from a new perspective.

For me it’s a form of meditation.

Paint

I’ve started painting again. It’s been years. I started painting when I was very young, I was one of those kids that drew all the time. When I was five or six I started drawing in the margins of books and on walls and any surface available. My dad started bringing home tablets of typing paper and boxes of pencils to keep the rest of the house free of my murals. I would lay on the floor and draw while I watched TV. More like listened to TV, most of those early shows from the fifties were more like radio for me. I’m sure they were glad to find something to keep me occupied, I’m pretty sure I had ADHD, but in those days they just called me a bratty kid.

I was maybe 12, my parents let me wander around downtown Moorhead by myself while I waited for a ride. Or maybe I rode my bike down there. Imagine that.  I was downtown  getting a haircut when I discovered that there was an art supply store across the street. I might have been an art supply store virgin. I found my toy store. That’s also the day I met James O’Rourke. One of, if not the most, influential people in my life. More about that later.

To make a long story, Jim soon had me coming to painting classes. I continued to paint through college, where I became focused on abstract art. I was interested in using repeated shapes from realistic drawings, reconstructing them into new compositions. I also experimented with an organic approach where I started randomly making marks and then building on them to create a composition.

I graduated from college with the intent of finding seasonal or part time work to support my art habit until it could sustain itself. I found the perfect job, but love and basketball intervened and I ended up dropping painting. When I started doing illustration I did a few mixed media pieces and some paintings, but didn’t really sustain the effort.

So I haven’t done any natural media painting for decades and now I’m starting up again. I’m trying to take an open minded approach, I’ve done both abstract and representational pieces, right now it seems like I’m more drawn to the representational. I’m going for an impressionist, alla prima schtick, although I have to admit I cheat on the alla prima part quite a bit. I’m not above going back in with some glazes to make adjustments to values and colors, but I won’t tell if you don’t .

I hope to be posting here regularly about my painting adventure, things I’m learning along the way, problems I’m mulling, and general observations about art. I hope a couple of people might find it mildly amusing.

What? Wheat!

I’ve been doing the acupuncture thing for about six weeks now with very little effect on my Crohn’s. However, two weeks ago my practitioner suggested I eliminate wheat from my diet. I agreed to try it, but she probably saw my eyes rolling. No bread? No cookies, donuts, twizzlers (that’s right twizzlers are full of wheat) and NO PRETZELS. If consuming wheat products actually is causing my gut problems, the fact that I was eating a half bag of pretzels every night might have been an issue.

But I’ve been avoiding wheat now for a couple of weeks and there was an almost immediate improvement in my condition. Plus the couple of times I fell off the wagon I noticed things got worse. I’m still having some problems, but I’m hoping over time things will continue to improve. I’ve also resumed taking turmeric and probiotics. Time will tell.

I did some research and found this article on the National Institute of Health website, it’s an overview of research on the inflammatory effects of grain and wheat consumptions. It’s a little difficult to wade through but has some eye opening information. And of course there’s Dr. William Davis and the “Wheat Belly Blog.”

There’s a lot of conflicting info out there of course. Katherine’s advice was to give up wheat, not gluten. She said barley, which contains gluten is probably OK. Some of the info I found recommends dropping of all kinds of grains, including corn. I’ve replaced pretzels with corn chips (I must have my salty snacks) and hamburgers with tacos without problems.

I’m on pins and needles

Just had my third acupuncture appointment. So I’m two weeks into the regimen. I haven’t really seen much improvement. Last week Katherine, my practitioner, tested some herbs on me so she could recommend an herbal blend to enhance the effects of the needle treatment. The test consisted of her putting various bottles of the herbal extracts on my stomach and taking my pulse to see how my body reacted. Then once she had determined the right blend, she placed one bottle at a time in my palm to judge the proportions of the mixture. I came away with an “intestinal health” blend to take five drops of four times a day and an anti cramping herb that I take when needed. She also recommended that I spend 15 minutes a day going barefoot in the grass. Really good for the spleen, I think she said.

I’ve gotten some new recommendations at each visit. The first visit was to not drink coffee first thing in the morning. I’m supposed to have the juice of a half lemon mixed with hot water and some protein before I can have coffee. This isn’t easy for a guy who is used making that first cup in a somnambulant state immediately upon getting out of bed. But I’ve managed to live through it. Another recommendation is to give  up ice cream. My first reaction to that was, “Wait, can I cut an arm off first?” You can sacrifice a lot for your health, but do you really want to live a life without ice cream? I’ve surprised myself and even stuck to that one.

When I told her that I hadn’t seen any improvement and that I was going to pull the trigger on the Humira treatment, she got a little defensive, saying that I needed to give it more time. You might say the effects are a little pokey. So I agreed that I would continue for six weeks and then evaluate.

Another interesting addition to my treatment is the insertion of little mini-pins in my ears that I am supposed to keep in for five days. She said they were really small and held in with adhesive that was colored so you can hardly see them. I’ll be interested to see what Becky says about that when she gets home.

So my adventure with alternative medicine continues. I really want to be able to get on the plane to Kauai in November without having to worry about using my “I can’t wait” card in the line for the toilet.

 

Call me the human pincushion.

psyberartist flickr.com
psyberartist flickr.com

Hey. It’s been awhile. The last post was on the health benefits of turmeric. I’ve been taking turmeric daily and have seen no improvement on the Crohn’s front.

A word of warning: One can’t really write about Crohn’s without writing about poop. There might be a good dose of TMI here on occasion, so if you’re offended or nauseated by scatalogical matters, read at your own risk.

I’ve been leaning more and more to just going the Humira route. I’m really miserable right now, constantly feeling crampy and having to run to the bathroom. One good thing is that the worst of it passes in the morning and I haven’t had to crap at work. The way our office is laid out and the lack of ventilation would probably result in me being asked to leave. There are a lot of unpleasant things about having Crohn’s, but the fact that you give off some incredibly nasty odors is among the worst.

I’m making one last effort to find an alternative treatment and avoid Humira and all the negatives associated with it. I’m taking a shot at acupuncture. I had my first appointment on Friday. It lasted two hours, starting out with a very thorough interview about my medical history. Then it was up on the table to have the needles inserted. It isn’t painful. Once the needles are in there is a period of time where you just lie there and let them do their thing, which I guess consists of getting your chi all adjusted. I kind of tranced out so I have no idea how long it was. When the practitioner returned she applied a ‘cold laser’ to my scars in order to release the energy that might be blocked by them (or something like that), it all feels very hocus-pocus to me.

I like the practitioner a lot. She also made a couple of interesting recommendations. Don’t drink coffee first thing in the morning. Eat something, preferably protein, first and also have a cup of warm lemon water. Then you can have your coffee. Also avoid peanut butter. Almond butter is much better. It should be, I stopped at the store on the way home to pick some up, it’s about four times the price of peanut butter. Maybe this isn’t a cheaper alternative to Humira.

I did come out of there feeling, well different. I definitely felt like my gut wasn’t as angry as it usually is, no crampy sensations. This continued until the next day. I woke up Saturday morning and experienced the usual multiple trips to the bathroom, but the proceedings didn’t seem as violent as before. And once the morning paroxysms were over, I felt really good all day.

But then something happened that made me start thinking about a completely different angle to this shit show. As we settled down for our evening boob tube session I set out to satisfy my craving for salty snacks with a bag of corn chips. As soon as I started eating them I started to feel crampy and I ended up spending the rest of the evening dancing with Doctor Crohn’s.* I did some research and it seems that some people have an intolerance to corn products, much like gluten intolerance. I’m going to see what happens if I start avoiding corn and corn syrup. I know, good luck with that!

I’m signed up for six weeks of acupuncture treatment, but if I don’t see some results in a couple of weeks, I might have to just bite the bullet and start up with Humira. I’m not sure how long I can last feeling the way I do, I must be losing weight and not getting proper nutrition.

I will keep you posted.

*I just made that euphemism up, I kind of like it.