I’ve run out of Celexa so Welbutrin is the only thing between me and my depression right now. I think I might stay off, there are some benefits, not the least of which is a upswing in the lumber business. Another effect (benefit?) is that suddenly I’ve been having very vivid and interesting dreams almost every night.

Last night’s was a doozie. You may remember my friend Adrien, who was shot and killed in D.C. last August. I went to high school and college with him. We were close, but I never knew he was gay until about a year ago. In spite of the fact that he was slightly effeminate and loved show tunes, I never even suspected it.

Isn’t it odd when in dreams you find yourself in a situation and you have a ready made history of what’s going on, you aren’t just plopped into the scene but you know what’s going on, what lead up to the situation. We were much younger, in our thirties maybe, I was working on a project with an older gay man, maybe my age now. I brought Adrien along to a meeting, bringing him in on the project. We were sitting in the guy’s apartment discussing the details of the job, when all of a sudden they start getting flirtatious with each other. The meeting goes to hell in a hand basket while these too guys suddenly realize they’re completely infatuated. I sit on the couch wondering how these two men, niether of which obviously gay, suddenly were having a love at first sight experience. I remember thinking, “Golly, isn’t this sweet?”

Dr. Freud?

5 thoughts on “

  1. Keep your drugs in stock, damnit! Christmas is the wrong time to be re-configuring brain chemistry, and that “Festivus Pole” can be welcome…

  2. I’d say stay off the celexa, but I’m no doctor…  I didn’t read about your friend until just now (due to my xanga hiatus this summer), and I’m deeply sorry. 


  3. Be careful with the drugs.  If you need them, you should take them.  But I would enjoy the rise in lumber for a little while first. Isn’t that weird about “sexual side effects”-you’d think if you didn’t feel like sex, that in itself would be depressing.  And then off the drugs and increasing sex ought to pump up the endorphins, dontcha think?

  4. I’ve used wellbutrin for smoking cessation (um, yes used, coupla times, *cough*) and have had the vivid dreams also.  I usually don’t dream much (or with much clarity when I do) so it was a pretty noticable side effect.

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