Today might be the dreariest, dampest, darkest day ever. And my psyche is pretty much in tune with it.
I started this entry back on October 2, and I guess my mood was just so black that I couldn’t continue. Since then we’ve had some of the bluest skies ever and for a couple of days it got uncomfortably hot, into the eighties with high humidity. Once again the old Minnesota adage is proven out. “If you don’t like the weather in Minnesota, wait 10 minutes, it’ll change.”
That kind of applies to my mood these days as well. I’m on the mend and every day I seem to be getting a bit better. I can drive now and next Monday I’m returning to work, half days. But I still can’t walk without a crutch and that really frustrates me, I’m impatient with the process of rebuilding leg muscles that were inactive for for three months when I didn’t Have a knee. Although it’s more the hip that’s keeping me from walking. I also have more pain than I like. It’s not as bad as it has been at times, but still it kind of works on your mind.
I’m tapering my pain killers, I’d been on them for a long time and the docs want me to cut back. The last time they filled the script, they said no more. I’m down from 12 a day to 2. At this point I was taking them more to avoid the withdrawal than for the pain. But there’s been some nasty withdrawal, my body gets all twitchy and nervous and I get really crabby. Back on the 10/2 when I began this post I spent most of the day sleeping and weeping. Throwing myself a major pity party.
The above was written over the last couple of weeks. I’m back to work now. I feel like an old man. Still pretty gimpy and using a cane most of the time. Sore too. But a little better every day.
