Have you heard about the Midnight Rambler?

Tonight I am most decidedly not at my wife’s office Christmas party. This is either the second or third one we’ve missed in almost thirty years. She’s worked at this agency longer than anyone. All those campaigns, creative directors, art directors copywriters, empty suits, AE’s, bean counters. People I’ve seen start out right out of art school and get all the way to the “you make too much, we’ll get three people right out of school for the same money and work them to death” phase. That’s what a freelancer is. That and guys like me who never made it into the agency scene. Too old by the time I awoke from my drug and alcohol induced haze.

I was relieved this morning when she asked if I’d be disappointed if we skipped it.

But there’s been some fun. Like when Beck broke the ankle of one of the copyrighter’s wives. Things were pretty drunk and Cheryl was trying to pull Beck’s dress down and made some comment about growing up with six sisters. Beck said, “Oh yeah, well I grew up with six brothers and they were wrestlers.” She put some kind of take down move on her and snapped her skinny anke. The night it was 30 below and all the roads had ice about ten inches thick and you could hardly walk and one guy was doing the ‘gator and a fifty year old (old to me then) AE was doing drunken back flips. And I don’t remember getting home. And I was driving.

And when the Norwegian guy became the boss and they started the tradition of toasting to a shot of aquavit before dinner. You could count on half the people at the table not drinking theirs and passing them to me. And open bars with really good cognac. Not to mention various controlled substances. And huge ice sculptures filled with shrimp.

But now I’m an old stick in the mud. I don’t drink and I’m just not that big of a party guy. And besides they fired a bunch of Beck’s friends this year. If Allison was going to be there…well THAT’S a different story. We saw Allison this week. I told my wife that I had to be honest. I’d do Allison. She said, “Who wouldn’t. I’d probably do her.” Now there’s a thought. That will probably happen right after the Wolves pick me with their first round draft pick.

Anybody see the Wolves eviscerate the Kings in the last five minutes tonight. Eddie Griffen just might be the missing piece of the puzzle. Or might have been the missing piece…cause I guess he’s not missing now, right.

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Moving on! Just a bit of pickin”