Excerpt from a West Wing episode
President Bartlet is confronting a Dr. Laura like talk show host in the White House.

President Bartlet: Forgive me Dr. Jacobs, are you an M.D.?

Jacobs: A Ph.D.

Bartlet: A Ph.D.?

Jacobs: Yes, sir.

Bartlet: Psychology?

Jacobs: No sir.

Bartlet: Theology?

Jacobs: No.

Bartlet: Social work?

Jacobs: No. I have a Ph.D. in English literature.

Bartlet: I’m asking ’cause on your show, people call in for advice, and you go by the name of “Dr.” Jacobs on your show, and I didn’t know if maybe your listeners were confused by that and assumed you had advanced training in psychology, theology or health care.

Jacobs: I don’t believe they are confused, no, sir.

Bartlet: Good. I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.

Jacobs: I don’t say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President, the Bible does.

Bartlet: Yes, it does, Leviticus.

Jacobs: 18.22

Bartlet: Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here. I’m interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She’s a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be?

While thinking about that, can I ask another? My chief of staff, Leo McGarry, insists on working on the sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or is it OK to call the police?

Here’s one that’s really important ’cause we’ve got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point?

Does the whole town have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side-by-side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you?

One last thing, while you may mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tight-ass Club. In this building, when the President stands, nobody sits.

7 thoughts on “

  1. bill and i lament, on a weekly basis, the fact that we can’t vote for bartlet.  hell, i’d even vote for whoever writes bartlet, even if just to make the president sound like he’s worth the time. 

    just for the record, though, i think he’d probably have to kill leo himself. 

  2. Ok, why is it that, while I spend no more time on here than any of the above commenters–that is, disengaged from such things as the “news” and such–I still don’t know who the hell Bartlet is? 

    I know Dr. Laura though.  Thankfully, I haven’t heard her in a long time.  Woman drives me nuts, I tell ya.

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