I’m probably going to get in trouble for this, but I feel that it’s an important social issue that needs to be addressed. It’s just unfair. There’s an unwritten rule that when a man is talking to a woman he cannot break the plane, in other words he must lock his eyes on hers and never let them follow their instinctive path to the woman’s breasts. I’m told that women really hate it when you do that.

Before I go any further I need to offer the disclaimer that I’m not that big of a breast fan. If you met my wife you’d know that large breasts aren’t a requirement for me as far as attractiveness goes. However, I do think that we (men) are hardwired to check those lovely orbs out whenever possible. It probably goes back to something Darwinean, just before we came down from the trees.

So here’s my problem. Women design themselves to make it almost IMPOSSIBLE not to break the plane. I see this everywhere. I’m talking to a woman and trying desperately to maintain eye contact, but she’s wearing an amulet around her neck that’s beutiful and meant to be looked at. I mean, what’s it there for? The amulet is framed by the triangle formed by an open collar the lower vertex (lower vertex?) of which shows a tantalizing peak of cleavage. Damn it! Any graphic designer will tell you that you’ve created an arrow that virtually points to the forbidden zone and the eye just naturally follows.

Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not advocating burkas. I’m just asking for a little forgiveness and understanding when our eyes momentarily wander while talking to you. It doesn’t mean we don’t value you for your personhood. It just means we’re ANIMALS!

20 thoughts on “

  1. Trust me – the good ones always understand. If I’ve got my knockers on display, or something is drawing attention to them, it’s only natural to look. I only get pissed if someone’s being rude about it.

  2. hahaha, apparently bob-o got slapped upside the head.

    the only question is whether it was by a hand or an orb.

  3. hell, i’ve blogged before that i notice breasts.  you can’t help it. 

    is it okay if, when i’m talking to a guy, my eyes wander?

  4. I thought Shapely (whose site still crashes my browser instantly) was going to say she only gets pissed off when someone doesn’t look.

  5. yes… I know exactly what you are talking about… not a breast fan myself… its all about the ass

  6. I had a math teacher in grade ten who never ever ever made eye contact with his more stacked female students. Apparently he valued our personhood particularly if were wrapped in a package featuring a coupla 36Ds.

    Can I just say that he was the creepiest. Teacher. Ever? And that if I weren’t so marvellously self-controlled, I’d stick his name in this comment and hope like hell that his wife stumbled across it?

    Who me, aggrieved much?

  7. well, we do all attempt our own sexual advertising, and if you’re advertising, you get responses. Still, not staring seems only reasonable.

  8. it’s okay, primeva, you can name names.  heike already knows all about her husband’s preverted classroom freakshow.

  9. Sometimes I wonder what my eyes are doing on an unconscious level when I’m talking to women.  I’m pretty sure that when boobs are well marketed, so to speak, I’m there at least part of the time.  And you know, I don’t even think about it too much, but I believe I tend to watch mouths more than eyes when I’m talking with someone face-to-face.  So I guess if it’s a woman with a nicely presented balcony, my eyes go 30-40-30, respectively, between eyes, mouth, and ta-tas.

  10. considering i had to practically grab his face and rub it into my chest before he read my teeshirt, i’ll take that as a sign that my balcony needs a few extra lawn chairs set out.

  11. I had something clever but 12 people have bugged the crap out of me since I first read this. None of them bought anything. Now I’m just irritated and I can tell you if a woman has boobs of any size and a top opened enough to see cleavage, I’m at least going to look for a few seconds. Just like, sadly and maybe sacrily, if a guy came in with his shirt open, I’d look. Er..  not in the same manner, mind you. Damn..  I’ve said too much.

  12. When you go fishing you better be ready for whatever might bite the other end of the line.

    I figure if a woman is asking for the attention then she deserves what she gets, but it is still an excellent point.

  13. heh… at the management retreat last week, a young lady supervisor from the phone center had a top with a teardrop shaped cutout (buttoned at the top) that was, without a doubt, a cleavage window.  umm… just a flick glance, mind you.  she had the most lovely dark brown eyes, btw.  ahem.

  14. Hey!! I’m working on that site thing!! John took a look at it and said he didn’t see anything wrong, but he’s going to look deeper. What OS and browser are you using?

  15. OSX 10.2 Safari. That’s probably the problem, but it’s wierd because OSX is the most stable operating system I’ve ever worked with. Maybe I need an upgrade.

  16. I had this problem the other day sitting next to an attractive woman in a sundress at lunch. I had to literally tell myself over and over – Keep looking at her eyes.

  17. maybe if you just say “hey, that’s a really nice necklace you’ve got” you can sneak a peek and she won’t notice.
    People used to look at mine, but then I had a kid and breastfed for three years — now anyone in visual range has to look too far south, so they don’t even bother.

  18. Preach the word!  Women wear these outfits that make their portions of glory jut out for all the world to see.  They wear text that’s stretched across their ample bosoms and then wonder why men stare.  Q doesn’t understand it.

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