Egad, a base life defiles a bad age

Evidence that I was the founder of the Grunge movement. At the time the photo was taken (and credit to the photographer, but I can’t remember his name) I was bartending in South Minneapolis. I had a coat that my Dad’s employers had given him, it was a great winter coat, insulated with a hood. He never wore it because it just wasn’t classy enough for him. It had a huge Siouxland Dressed Beef logo embroidered on the back and “Bill” stitched on the front. My Dad could have manure on his boots, but he wasn’t going to be seen in somethig like that. It was about the coolest thing a guy like me could wear. And the warmest.
One night it was about -20° and somehow I had ended up at the bar late. I positioned myself by the waitress station between the bar and the kitchen because it was the best place to watch the show and also chat up the waitresses. As the evening passed I got, as usual, pretty tuned up. When it came time, protected by my insulated stockyards coat, I trudged the mile or so home to the upper duplex I was sharing with BB and his future wife. I do not recommend this behavior to anyone! Minnesota winters are serious, they can kill you. But I made it home safely with all toes and fingers intact.
The next day I put the coat on and headed out the door for a new adventure. When I put my hand into the left pocket, I discovered it was coated with a syrupy substance. “What the hell?” It turns out that while I had been leaning on the bar the night before, I had also been leaning on the Dr. Pepper dispenser and was blithely filling my pocket with Dr. Pepper. At least the bar owner didn’t find out that I was stealing. It’s a good thing I sobered up!

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