We celebrated Thanksgiving with they Mehrer family, Quinn’s in-laws. Dinner was at Dave’s brother’s house. We had a great meal and had an excellent day. The Mehrers are great people, they couldn’t be any nicer. However they are so different from us, it’s kind of funny. They’re devout Christians, we are not believers. I’m guessing if you dug down to the basic beliefs, we’d be pretty similar.

I spend a lot of time lately thinking about how grateful I am. I have reasonably good health, our children are healthy and thriving, we managed to save enough for a comfortable retirement and I am so lucky to be married to an amazing woman and an amazing mother.

When I’m contemplating my good fortune it sometimes dawns on me that things have not always been easy. I had a lot of issues as a kid, mostly stemming from ADHD, which in those days was unheard of. I was just a pain in the ass kid. I took a lot of teasing for being a little weird and so skinny and physically frightened and anxious. I did a lot of things I’m not proud of, I treated some of my classmates very badly. Some of those behaviors percolate up to consciousness occasionally and without going into details I can tell you I’m ashamed of what I did.

And my life hasn’t really been easy. I suffered from anxiety and depression from a very early age. I can remember thinking about suicide many times, starting when I was a teenager. I even had a gun to my head a couple of times. My father died when I was twenty. I’ve dealt with chronic illness, Crohn’s disease, for most of my life. Our first child had a devastating genetic anomaly and only lived for a day. I was an alcoholic. I bounced around the world of graphic arts without much success. Every time I thought thing were going to finally be great, they fell apart. I finally found a job that I held for eighteen years, which helped us become financially secure, but was a soul sucking experience.

Thinking back, I wonder how I can be so grateful.

Probably the number one thing I’m grateful for is my wife. For one thing, she had a great career and was the main bread winner most of the time. She’s been tolerant, forgiving and loving. She’s put up with a lot. We make each other laugh, that’s so important. Our daughters are doing well and along with their spouses, seem to like to spend time with us.

I started taking meds for my depression many years ago and so many of my issues, anger, anxiety, depression, hypochondia are a thing of the past now. For years, because of cost and fear of side effects, I resisted taking medication for my Crohn’s disease. I finally started taking methotrexate which resulted in a long run of remission. My health is pretty damned good for an old fart.

Looking back all the bad stuff seems like a distant memory. I’m grateful every day.