Close Call

Dodged a bullet. I almost committed an act that would put me in jeopardy of having my man card revoked. Our younger daughter who works at the Guthrie, gets two free tickets to each performance. She called last week and offered us her tickets to Romeo and Juliet. I’ve often said that we don’t take good advantage to the cultural opportunities offered here in the Twin Cities and this sounded like an chance to increase our highbrow credentials. Rebecca was on the phone with her relaying the info while I was in the middle of something important like reading Facebook entries. A range of dates was offered. I replied that Sunday would work.

Now I’m not a huge football fan. I have never once painted my face purple or maroon, or even cornflower and maise (not Michigan, Carleton.) But I have jumped on the Vikings bandwagon this year. It’s so much fun to watch Brett Favre when he’s playing for your team rather than picking it apart. I was also kind of distracted. I know there’s really no excuse for not realizing that the play conflicted with the Vikings playoff game against Dallas. Dallas. Playoff. It’s enough to boil the blood of guy my age. Not to mention the fact that I would definitely bring my guyhood into question if I spent an afternoon listening to iambic pentameter. Besides I already know the ending of the play.

I know this identifies me as obtuse, but the conflict didn’t hit my radar screen until yesterday morning. My stomach did a backflip and I broke into a cold sweat thinking about what I would say to the first guy who said, “Did you see the catch Rice made in the back of the end zone?!?” And, if I were to be honest, I’d have to reply, “No, I missed it, I was watching Shakespeare.” I couldn’t bear the shame. I also fully understand the repercussions of backing out on a date with my wife. Things could get icy at casa Keller if I didn’t approach this with utmost delicacy.

“Hey Beck… Do you think one of your fiends might want to go to the play tomorrow.”

“Why?”

I explained my predicament. She said that she was sure that she could find someone and she’d call around. All of a sudden I felt like I was the one being ditched.

So I’m off the hook. But knowing the Vikings, I’ll still be watching a tragedy.

5 thoughts on “Close Call”

  1. I’ll be missing the start of the game because of my uber-manly gig on KFAI program “Womenfolk”. Backing up Jen Markey.

  2. Great game.. glad the boys in purple didn’t disappoint you or make you look bad. Just so you know Bandwagon Bob they play next Sunday night and the Superbowl is Sunday Feb 7th..you may want to mark your calendar!

  3. dude, i don’t even LIKE football, and i’d rather watch it than shakespeare.

    unless it was BALLET shakespeare. because my man card was revoked at the moment of fertilization.

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